Hope is there.

Today I saw my new psychiatrist. I went to him to get a second opinion and possible start seeing him instead of my old one. Well I am happy to say he is my new psychiatrist! My appointment was exhausting trying to explain everything to him, especially just mentioning my rape. I had a terrible panic attack on the way home and it took me a few hours to calm myself down.

But I got past it. And I feel better. There are some stresses in my life currently and I'm not sure anyone would handle them with perfection. With my background I am handling them the best I can and I have hope that I can soon handle them even better.

If you feel that the doctor (of any kind) you are seeing isn't listening to you or giving you what you need, there is no shame in going to get a second opinion. The old psychiatrist I was seeing was great. Saw him for over five years. But, with my case, I think I was a bit over his head and needed someone with a little more expertise.

I will be honest I felt guilty as if I was going behind his back. But I told him that I was seeing someone else to get a second opinion and he said it is always good to do so because not every doctor is a fit for you. He was great about it even if I started crying. I hate thinking I may or am hurting others feelings.

One medicine has been dropped as we are pretty certain is it causing my heightened anxiety and a medicine dose was increased. Once we get the one medicine dose stable, we will be discussing switching out one medicine for another. So I went from four medications to three. Three still seems like a high amount, but it is one less that I am taking and I consider that a win.

He gave me some great steps to take to help me overcome anxiety, depression and my sleep as well. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with those (like stopping caffeine), but it needs to be done.

I hate that I am having to change my life as what I am use to, all because of a disease I didn't even ask for. Not that anyone asks for any kind of disease but it seems unfair. Although life isn't fair.

I have hope now. I was nervous going in and came out calm, relaxed, positive and full of hope (even if I ended up with a panic attack on the way home).

-Kristin

*My personal struggles or ways that I deal with my depression are just that, my own. Not everyone suffers or handles it like I do. This blog and the words are my feelings, interpretations, opinions, ect. Not everyone will agree with this blog or what I have to say, that is ok. That hasn't stopped me before, and it won't stop me now. I just ask that you be respectful and to keep an open mind.